Think about a time someone told you, “You’re not a team player.” Chances are, it didn’t open you up to reflection. More likely, it made you defensive.
That’s because statements like this are often heard as judgments—not as useful feedback. They feel personal, vague, and hard to respond to. And they’re surprisingly common in the workplace.
One of the most practical tools for improving communication is something called a “clear observation,” drawn from Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication (NVC). It’s simple in concept, but powerful in practice.
A clear observation is a statement about what someone did or said, without judgment, exaggeration, or generalization. It focuses on specific behaviors in a specific context, rather than labeling people or assigning fixed traits.
What’s a Clear Observation?
A clear observation describes what someone said or did—without mixing in your evaluation, your opinion, or a generalization. It’s something most people in the conversation could agree actually happened.
Compare these two statements:
“Andy dominates our calls.”
“Andy spoke first several times in today’s call, and I found it hard to share my perspective.”
The first is a judgment disguised as a fact. “Dominates” might feel true, but it’s not neutral language—and it’s likely to cause defensiveness. The second statement keeps the focus on what was seen or heard, and includes the speaker’s experience without making it a personal critique.
Here’s another example:
“Ravi isn’t friendly.” vs.
“Ravi didn’t respond or smile when I said good morning today.”
That second version gives the listener something concrete to reflect on—and opens the door to dialogue, not debate.
Why This Matters in the Workplace
In professional settings, it’s common to speak in generalizations or shorthand—especially when time is short. We use phrases like “not strategic,” “hard to work with,” or “a great athlete” without pausing to describe what we've actually observed.
But when we skip the observable details, we lose something important: the chance to create engagement. Generalizations and judgments often shut conversations down. Clear observations, on the other hand, create the conditions for people to stay engaged—even when they don’t agree.
This is especially useful in situations where there’s disagreement, misunderstanding, or frustration. Being able to say, “Here’s what I saw,” instead of “Here’s what I think about you,” helps keep the conversation grounded and constructive.
What to Practice
The good news is that this doesn’t mean giving up on your opinions or pretending to be neutral. NVC doesn’t ask us to stop evaluating—it just asks us to separate our evaluations from our observations.
Start with this:
Before a tough conversation, write down what you saw or heard—not what you think it “means.”
Notice if your language includes absolutes like “always,” “never,” or loaded words like “rude,” “incompetent,” or even “brilliant.”
Try restating what happened using specifics tied to time and place.
For example:
“Charlie is terrible at listening.” → “Charlie restated his view several times in today’s meeting, and I didn't hear him acknowledge the objections I raised.”
This small shift can make a big difference.
A Small Shift That Builds Better Conversations
Using clear observations doesn’t mean avoiding opinions or pretending to be neutral. It simply means separating what you saw from how you feel or interpret it.
It’s a powerful way to create more space for dialogue, especially when conversations get tense. It helps others stay open and keeps your message grounded in something everyone can relate to: shared experience.
Over time, this practice can influence the tone of your team, your meetings, and your broader work culture—one conversation at a time.
